Staying Together for the Sake of the Children
When couples say “I do” in marriage, more often than not, they don’t know what they are saying “I do” for. Perhaps it is better that they don’t otherwise nobody will ever get married.
After a brief period of honeymoon then reality comes. Each one discovers more the real personality behind the person they chose to marry - most of the time this discovery is more discouraging rather than fulfilling. Before they got married, most likely, they already knew the beauty and goodness of the other hence what is left for them to find out are the ugly ones.
With this discovery, conflicts, disharmony, series of marital war, disenchantment, misunderstanding and the like took over. And more likely this will be followed by diminishing of one’s display of affections and sweet nothingness talk, and slowly their love for each other starts to melt down.
Despite all these many couples will make use of their thinking faculty and will decide to make up with their partners and look forward to a better, healthier and more loving relationship in the future. Unfortunately whilst this healthier and better relationship can actually happen, nonetheless this will not last for long. The second, the third, the fourth and so forth and so on, storms in marriage are surely coming.
This series of conflicts that occurs in marriages creates a deposit of some sort of emotional pains on each other. And every time conflict arises, these emotional pains pile up until it goes to a point that one or both don’t want to take anymore. All of a sudden they begin to contemplate and consider separation.
After some times of reflection, couple may find it sensible, practical and wise to consider separation but in the end they have to answer this big question, “But what about the children?”
This consideration of children’s welfare serves as a stumbling block to their intention of separating. While some couples in this state just closed their eyes before their children and parted ways with their other half, but still there are also many who are strong-willed and have great sense of parental responsibility who will not compromise their children’s welfare. These kind of parents will opt to stay no matter how hell-like their marriage maybe.
These parents will stop loving their partner and carry on with their parental role as usual in order that they can give their best in bringing up their children. They will live as if the other does not exist but over a period of time nature heals their wounds. Little by little, their anger and disgust toward their partners subsided. Soon they will find themselves falling in love with their partners and sooner their marriage comes back to life again. Every now and then conflict between them arises but experience has taught them a great deal that they can now easily manage to co-exist and keep their marriage despite those marital conflicts.
The best part of this is that children grew up within a fully intact family and with guidance from parents whose main source of motivation is their unconditional love for their children.
Indeed staying together for the sake of the children is worth opting for. For how can a person be genuinely happy when at the back of his head there are children whom he left which maybe suffering or being led astray?
Indeed it’s worth saving one’s marriage for the sake of the children. But is it really saving one’s marriage because of their children or is it their children saving their marriage? Can the decision of separation be easier without the children? Thanks God they exist otherwise it will be very easy to separate.
Man and woman are much different in many respect, one being coming from Mars and the other from Venus, hence trying to make them one will surely creates conflicts – but thanks to their children, they will be able to overcome this.
